RHYMES
    & REASONS

     Who told us that God's universe was started with a bang.

  But science knows that Stone Age men, from the dawn of history,

     Fashioned gods of wood and stone, that they could touch and see.

  Thus scientists and Stone Age men are on an even plane,

     Since both have found the need to act on things they can't explain.

  God tells us that His universe does not begin or end,

     And that it's not for simple minds to try to understand.

  So much for foolish scientists, whose pardon I must beg,

     When they tell me they know which came first, the chicken or the egg.

     When asked about St. Paul's reputed disability.

  The caller had seen Paul's image, displayed on chapel walls,

     As a tall and handsome gentleman, with no defects at all.

  The priest agreed these portraits, did not show any flaws,

     And thought perhaps it was a limp that may have been the cause.

  But wise men should remind themselves, lest they may forget,

     That artists do paint images of those they've never met.

  For St. Paul had traveled far and wide, and thus was oft' described,

     As a "fat and homely little Jew, with a patch upon one eye."

     Some say it's just an anagram, not hard to figure out.

  Master of the universe, no less would 'er suffice,

     But fated for captivity; done in by "fire and ice."

  Then rose the master orator, a harbinger of doom,

     To raise again his chosen race, from hopelessness and gloom.

  Cold and ruthless is the one, whose name the prophets whisper,

     Rising from obscurity, the child known as "Hister".

  From pulpits all across the land, the watchmen sing their songs,

     "Beware the coming antichrists!" (but both have come and gone).

  And little fleas have lesser fleas, and so on adfinitum.

           Sir Isaac Newton 1672 - on the design of God's universe

  So naturalists observe a flea, hath smaller fleas that on him prey,

  And these have smaller fleas to bite 'em, and so proceed ad infinitum,

  Thus every poet in his kind, is bit by him who comes behind.

           Jonathan Swift 1697 - an honest plagiarist

  Great fleas have little fleas upon their backs to bite 'em,

  And little fleas have lesser fleas and so on ad infinitum,

  And the Great fleas themselves in turn have greater fleas to go on,

  While these again have greater still, and greater still and so on.

     The women shall adopt a craze,

  To dress like men and trousers wear,

     And cut off all their locks of hair.

  They'll ride astride with brazen brow,

     As witches do on broomsticks now,

  Then love shall die and marriage cease,

     And nations wane as babes decrease,

  And wives shall fondle cats and dogs,

     And men live much the same as hogs.

  I know I go, I know I'm free,

     I know that this will come to be.